51
Mahler. The sixth Simphony? Yes. Oh. Certainly. I'll come
back to you. The promise of coming back is the inevitable certitude of the
distance, of leaving a certain time and space and a unique cultural setup
in its non-historical present. Coming back is impossible. He cannot come
back, he won't find the traces of his steps. The nomad doesn't leave
traces. He just remembers the places where he's been before. He lives in
the present being perfectly aware of the passage, of the post factum
frailty and of the dynamics in action of a fact that cannot be without
history and thus distance and temporal dimenssion. The tragic condition of
"I wanted to" can't be overcome otherwise than by adhering to it,
overlapping the lack of historical consistency and the self inner rhythm.
Thus, inadequacy becomes natural condition for existence and the nomad
does not perceive it anymore as the awareness of failure that can be fatal
if it's not surpassed in good time. An ethics of the supposed and very
dangerous hypothesis of "failure in the history" by aquiring a stressed
fatalist view of the "passage" can be "sublimated" for instance through a
periplus in the "Ungrund" ("Nothingness" - Jacob Bohme) or in the
underground of the nomad's present memory.
52
(The Ethics of Failure. Underground 1)
The ethics of failure is a norm for the limits of thought,
another way to put into practice the extreme nomadism. Tragic knowledge is
to be able to see and not see further though. There will always be a
"further" ,a "closer" that you couldn't perceive otherwise than by
guessing, as you think they are there, somewhere and your ultimate
certainty it that you can't reach those things. The horizon appears and
you run after it but you can't do more than finding other definition.
Always further, to the infinite.
The ethics of failure is a way of surviving to yourself as
nomad. It's the engine of your existence, it's haunting space and time
forgotten or too actual, so recent that you can't name them yet. The
ethics of failure is an ending conclusion and a starting hypothesis. It's
realizing infinite limits and the strictly limited infinite to the present
experience. It's a certainty that hovers over you as an inevitable peril
that can occur anytime. You have always to keep with you a fragment of
doubt, the certainty of your nomadism.
The ethics of failure is a morals of things that have to be
avoided, of those that shouldn't be avoided and of those that cannot be
avoided. It's a morals of drawing, depicting the inner labyrinth.
Traps yous set to yourself, blind alleys you can't get out
from, walls you hit, turns you take not knowing what's round them,
precipices you jump into, roots you stumble on (pick them up), traces you
must step into, abyss over which you float in a moment's equilibrium,
frightening gaps, cliffs you try to hang on to fall towards the sky,
parallel worlds, extinct animals that devour you, bestiaries of all
peoples, fairy tales smoke creatures, stones that hurt you, mud that sucks
you down, branches that you cling on, tops in which you poke yourself,
spinning over the whirlwind, giants from the future world legends that
crush your body at the slightest mistake, one moment's illusions, one
life's illusions, traps hidden beneath silk waves, jungles through which
you cut your way plucking the roots that are always growing again,
insinuating into your body, lianas that coil on your trunk, pull you back
and drag you forward, fires that spring out from under your feet, hot
liquids that melt your mind and thought, clays that stick you on the
ground, fast waterfalls that freeze your courage in glass steam, matter
swallowing you, earth that wants you and sky that turns you down, all the
good and evil in the world in brief, ideals and aspirations, new deceiving
and ideas, continuous refuge into yourself, wishes of a second that are
washed like unreal castles in the sands of past memories, time leaking
down the icy back of Venus of Milet, unreal and fantastic, artificial
paradise and hells of a moment, penance and memories, delirium of a
reality that you remember second by second, deceiving yourself with words,
lying yourself in words, with words and without words, verbs freezing
within abstract brackets, logics canceling your own reality, dialectics
that drown you little by little, suffocating you effortlessly, letting you
breath by yourself, excess and reasons, futile heroism and extatic
weariness, katharsis not enough for itself, walls circling you menacingly
and you can't do but sneaking through the rigorous stones to the next
circle, chaos and worlds disappearing in a blink of an eye, unseen facets
of things, gaps that you hardly imagine, shelves always shut, sunny
terraces and subterranean caves, searching support for later on,
references that you stumble on clumsily, papers with burned edges, always
a new stage and again and again, you think you'er a rocket and you're only
a satellite around a point, weak lungs, dreamed of and longed forDante's
circles, doors never open for you, doors that you'll never know of,
miraculous guides and wonderful places, virtual paradise, passages you
pass through forever, chaos of the prime unutterable words, words you
cannot think of, corners meeting finally somewhere, edges you slide down
when you don't even think of it, underground grass fragrance, ether in a
decanter, tress of an outer nature, Dyonisian music that thrills you,
muses that follow you everywhere, Orpheus on hire on the lake's shore,
false gods that don't believe anymore in themselves, time crushing you
after enhancing you, minotaurs and eternal workers of alternative
infernoes, all and nothing, now and never, here and nowhere, nomadism
pushed to the limits of paper's resistence, liberty that doesn't let you
stop and write a full stop, ever ...
53
And now as reference for the present that he always circles,
hear and read: Gielom mangie pioforos/ Ferri jamen jamenge ll/ Biciadizas
mandaj kofaros. Names that become his signs. Listen to the melos of some Polish nomads. They are
gipsies. They will never realize they are nomads, as their
nomadism is their most intimate nature. It's just their nature. They can
only be in fact (Dassein) nomads, phenomenologically. They will never
achieve the quality stage necessary to form a free hipostasis, ready for
processing or abandoning anytime. Their mask is to adherent to their
skull. It's just their face. They do not realize the difference, they
cannot reach an objective perspective as they don't have towards
themselves the thing that Descartes would call "divine indiference"
towards the created being. They don't have a pretending play, they won't
suffer to be "dephased" and inconsistency, the primitive freedom of
dsiconnecting is not available to them. They are caught into their present
(eternally repeatable?) and even recorded on "Dolby Hx-Pro Stereo" -
surprised ideally in eternity - the nomad recognizes them as signs of a
lack of time that is kept open as a possible refuge but also he leaves
them behind and surpasses them. He abandons them on the side of the track
in a ragged tent near two skinny horses harnessed empirically at a cart
with no lights. He goes on. He has no time to stop.
Miron
Ghiu